Are you struggling with Mammy Rage?

Do you find yourself losing your temper with your children, feeling resentful towards your partner, and overwhelmed by daily life?

how to master your angerQuiz - What's your Rage Risk?

Why am I struggling with Mammy Rage? 

“I’m tired of feeling like I have to be everything to everyone.

“It feels like I’m drowning in everything that needs to be done, and I don’t know how to get my head above water.”

“No one even offers to help, and it leaves me feeling like I’m not doing enough, no matter how hard I try.”

It’s just too much! And here is WHY

2023 – Modern Mammies are trying to do it ALL

  • You work tirelessly both outside and inside the home.
  • You look after your spouse, your children, and everything that comes with that.
  • You sacrifice your own needs and well-being to ensure that everyone else’s needs are met, yet it never feels like enough. 

The fear of being judged, disappointing your loved ones, or facing catastrophic events only adds to the overwhelming weight on your shoulders. And deep down, you already know that you’re doing more than any single person can handle – both emotionally and physically. So… 

Why do still you feel like you’re failing all the time? 

Why do you wake up every day thinking that you can’t do it anymore? 

Why do you feel like your worth is measured only by what you do for other people? 

Do you find yourself asking if anyone would even care about you if you didn’t serve them?

    Do you feel sad or guilty after you’ve been snappy putting your little one to bed?

      Do you have a burning resentment toward your partner?

        Does your inner rage sometimes scare you? 

            I want you to know that you are not alone. There is even a scientific name for what you’re experiencing – Maternal Reactive Aggression caused by 

            • Frustration or stress
            • Feeling threatened
            • Lack of support
            • Physical or emotional exhaustion
            • Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety
            • or trauma (from childhood, birth or loss)
            • Substance abuse
            • Relationship problems
            • Past experiences of abuse 

            And if you weren’t feeling any of this at this stage in your life, it would be puzzling to me, because… Your conditioning was never designed to make YOU happy. I’ll say that again

            your conditioning was never designed to make YOU happy

            Since you were born into this world as a female, you have been preparing for this. Everything in your environment showed you what it was to be a Mammy. You have many roles and the demand on you mentally, if you stop and think about it, is shocking! 

            Do you feel upset and enraged when you look at your partner who you expected to be your equal in dealing with parenthood, but unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case. It can be frustrating when they can’t see the mountain of things you have responsibility for. The truth is, they never will because they haven’t had the same conditioning as us. So it’s up to you to take action and create the change you want.

            But what does that future look like?
            It can be challenging to envision a life beyond the stress and inner turmoil that you’re currently experiencing. You may feel like you’re stuck in a negative cycle, unable to find new solutions. The good news is that sometimes, the solution doesn’t require drastic changes like leaving your partner or quitting your job. Instead, it may involve a small shift in perspective and a focus on your own needs more. By doing so, you can:

            1. Re-energize and better manage the demands of family life 

            2. Cultivate a positive outlook and find joy in everyday moments

            3. Respond to situations with greater patience and calmness

            4. Become less concerned with others’ expectations and more in tune with your own needs

            5. Recognize your triggers and react to emotions like resentment, anger, or disappointment in a productive way

            Warning signs you can’t ignore – Recognise the symptoms of Mammy Rage 

            Are you wondering if you’re experiencing mammy rage? Check these symptoms to assess if you’re experiencing mammy rage on a physical, cognitive, or emotional level, or all three. This can help you determine if it’s time to seek help.

            Physical symptoms

            1. Chronic fatigue or exhaustion

            2. Sleep disturbances or insomnia

            3. Chronic pain, particularly in the neck, shoulders, and back

            4. Digestive problems such as stomach pain, bloating, or diarrhea

            5. Headaches or migraines

            6. Weakened immune system and increased susceptibility to illness

            7. Changes in appetite or weight gain/loss 

            Cognitive symptoms

            1. Difficulty concentrating or focusing

            2. Racing thoughts

            3. Tunnel vision, where one’s attention narrows to the source of the rage

            4. Negative self-talk or critical inner voice

            5. Irrational or extreme thoughts or beliefs

            6. Difficulty making decisions or problem-solving

            7. Confusion or disorientation 

            Emotional Symptoms

            1. Feelings of intense anger or frustration

            2. Resentment or bitterness towards others, particularly family members

            3. Guilt or shame for losing control or acting out

            4. Helplessness or hopelessness about improving the situation

            5. Anxiety or fear of losing control or doing something harmful

            6. Sadness or depression about the impact of your rage on oneself or others

            How to shift your mindset and conquer Mammy Rage? 

            To cope with Mammy Rage, it’s crucial to understand that our thoughts and beliefs about a situation are the primary source of stress and resentment. Here are three examples that illustrate how the same situation can be perceived differently based on our mental state, attitude, or beliefs: 

            1.The same workload can feel manageable OR overwhelming

            Have you ever noticed how much smoother things seem to run when your partner is away on a work trip, and you have to handle everything alone? However, when they are present and not helping, your frustration intensifies, and everything starts to feel much harder. It feels unfair, right? 

            2. The state of your home can feel normal OR embarrassing

            Think back to a time when you were relaxing on your couch, surrounded by a bit of mess, dirty dishes in the kitchen, and toys or clothes lying around. No one seemed bothered until a family member announced their visit. Suddenly, your perception of your home changed, and you felt embarrassed and stressed. You rushed to clean up before their arrival, feeling sudden anger at the lack of help. Did you fear judgment?

            3. Relying on a family member can feel helpful OR stressful

            Imagine having to prepare everything before going away for a weekend with friends – leaving instructions, organizing lifts for the kids, and ensuring the house is spotless. But when you return, the place is a complete mess, and you feel as though you are being punished for having a good time. However, what if you had to unexpectedly leave for work for a day without notice, and your partner was able to take over? Wouldn’t you feel relieved that you could go and be delighted that everything worked out, even if you returned to a messy house?

            Remember, it’s not the situation itself that causes our stress and resentment, but rather our thoughts and beliefs about it. By changing our perspective and adopting a positive mindset, we can learn to manage our mammy rage and experience greater peace and happiness in our daily lives. 

            How Mammy Rage impacts your brain & behaviour 

            Mum rage happens when mothers feel very angry and can’t control their emotions. This happens because different parts of the brain work together when we feel angry. Our amygdala is a small part of the brain that controls emotions, and when we get angry, it sends signals to other parts of the brain. This makes our body prepare to fight or flight mode (run away) which can make us feel tense and react without thinking. 

            When we feel angry, we might not be able to think straight because another part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is affected. This part helps us think logically and control our actions, but it gets weaker when we’re angry.

            Our thoughts and beliefs also affect how angry we feel. If we believe someone is treating us unfairly or trying to hurt us, we might get even angrier.

            As a result we might act impulsively and say or do things we later regret because our ability to think straight is affected.

            There is no need to suffer in silence. You’re not alone in this – in fact, it’s more common than you think. Take the first step towards better managing your anger and improving your wellbeing by calculating your “Rage Risk”.

            "

            Quit Mammy Rage AND Reclaim Your Calm

            Through one-to-one Hypnotherapy sessions desigend for Mothers – from the comfort of your home, you can learn to:

            1. Divert attention from stressful triggers

            2. Reduce anxiety levels

            3. Get better at mindful communication

            4. Cultivate more patience

            5. Learn resilience skills

            Get unstuck from destructive patterns of behavior and make meaningful changes in your life

            Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy, a combination of talk therapy and Hypnosis, can help you manage Mammy Rage in just a couple of sessions compared to traditional therapies. By inducing a state of deep relaxation and heightened suggestibility, you can access your subconscious mind and find solutions that are within you. 

            You will be able to address underlying emotions and triggers that lead to outbursts, develop new coping mechanisms and behaviors, and improve overall emotional regulation skills. 

            During a session, you will feel a sense of calmness and detachment from your surroundings, which is highly relaxing. As you are unique, so are your solutions, and you will start to notice positive shifts in your life. Don’t take my word for it, read the client reviews to see what’s possible. Take the first step towards a calmer and happier life by booking an initial consultation now. 

            Improving your emotional regulation to overcome Mammy Rage not only benefits you, but also your children, who learn from us and develop their own emotional regulation skills. Also, managing stress and emotions in a healthy way can create a calmer and happier home environment.

            About me

            My name is Deirdriu, and I am a mother of four children, one dog, and several mischievous chickens. I’m also the wife of Brian, and we live in the quiet village of Fahan on the Inishowen peninsula in Co Donegal, Ireland.

            Since I was a little girl, I’ve always cared for people and their well-being. However, I haven’t always been a Hypnotherapist. For almost two decades, I worked as a Housing Officer until I started experiencing strange and unexplained symptoms that turned out to be chronic stress.

            As a mother of four, one learns to “function”, but eventually, neglecting your own needs for years will catch up to you. Your body will remember and show you if needed physically – at least that’s what happened to me.

            Today, I love learning more about neuroscience, holistic therapies, and even quantum physics! Hypnotherapy changed my life and inspired brave and fulfilling changes. I no longer feel sick and in need of a doctor; quite the contrary! I now train three times a week and feel better than ever before.

            Client Reviews: What other Mums say

            I started going to Deirdriu last year. I was suffering with anxiety, low mood and in a very negative mindset. I heard about Solutin Focused Hypnotherapy through a friend so I thought I’d give it a go. 

            From the minute I walked through the door I felt at ease and Deirdriu has such a kind and calming energy about her. She explains everything in great detail and makes it easy to understand why we behave in ways we do. 

            Layer by layer I am shedding old habits and traumas that have held me back for years and I’m starting to live a life that makes me happy without feeling any guilt. I am feeling much more positive and content within myself.

            I would highly recommend Deirdriu, she totally changed my life around and I will be forever grateful. 

            Mary

            I was struggling with transitioning from workaholic to new mum and didn’t know how to cope with this change. The little time I had to myself, financial pressure, and a partner who was going through a depressive phase, added to my stress. I felt alone, resentful, and exhausted.

            During the sessions, I felt incredibly relaxed and Dee was wonderful, putting me at ease immediately. The first thing I noticed was that I was sleeping much better! And old traumatic experiences that had stacked up over time were released. I had buried these memories but by my body remembered. There were a lot of AHA moments for me.

            I learned to focus on myself and became more aware of triggers and how to not get consumed by negative emotions. A year later, I realised I had moved into a much bigger apartment, changed my entire business model – one that allowed me to put my family first and work when it suited me best. I overcame my rage (despite giving out from time to time which is harmless compared to my previous outbursts) and I feel proud of what I’ve accomplished.

            Dee has also set me on a more spiritual path, pushing me to explore my potential and growth. I highly recommend working with Dee, and if you feel stuck, what you will learn will blow your mind! 

            Cindy

            I just had previously been to CBT the year prior, then when the panic attacks came back I started to really feel like nothing could help me get rid of them. But since speaking with Dee and focusing on the therapy she set out – it got rid of any hesitation I had.  it was amazing and helpful from the very start.

            I absolutely loved it, the night- time Audios really helped me focus and get a good night’s sleep. I learned the importance of taking time out for me and actually with the help of Dee helped me stop thinking negativity and gain more positive thinking and outcomes. It was beyond helpful and I 100% would recommend it to anyone.

            Claire

            11 Ways to Benefit from “Quit Mammy Rage AND Reclaim Your Calm” Hypnotherapy with Deirdriu

            1. Develop better emotional self-regulation skills
            2. Reduce stress levels and increase feelings of calm
            3. Improve your sleep quality, leading to more restful and energized days
            4. Make healthier and more fulfilling choices in life
            5. Set a positive and healthy example for your children
            6. Improve relationships through mindful communication
            7. Create a more positive home environment
            8. Reduce physical manifestations of stress, such as chronic pain, headaches and tension
            9. Overcome negative thinking loops and patterns that may be holding you back
            10. Learn how to prioritize self-care without feeling guilty
            11. Achieve your fullest potential and live authentically, not just as a mother, but as your true self.

            Frequently Asked Questions 

            How effective is hypnosis in therapy?

            A study by the American Health Magazine shows that hypnotherapy has a 93% recovery rate after just 6 sessions, compared to 38% for psychoanalysis after 600 sessions and 72% for behavior therapy after 22 sessions.

            Why does hypnotherapy have such a high success rate?
            Because it doesn’t just address surface-level symptoms or talk about problems – it delves into the root cause of issues by accessing the powerful subconscious mind. By unlocking the solutions that already exist within you, hypnotherapy provides a highly effective way to resolve issues and improve your wellbeing.

            What are the common myths about hypnosis?
            • A person cannot be hypnotized
            • They will lose control if hypnotized
            • They will not remember what happened during hypnosis

            However, hypnosis is a natural state of mind that resembles daydreaming. Thus anyone can enter a hypnotic state of mind.

            During hypnosis, the person is actually MORE in control due to a heightened state of awareness. They will remember what happened during hypnosis after the session is finished.

            How many sessions will I need?

            The number of sessions needed varies depending on the complexity of the issue and the person’s readiness and willingness to change. Generally, clients book on average 4-8 sessions.

            What do I need to get started?

            To get started with hypnotherapy, you need a device that can download the free App Zoom, a credit or debit card for online payment, and most importantly a desire to overcome Mum Rage (or any other issue you may have).

            The first step is to schedule an Initial Consultation with me here.

            How much does it cost?

            The initial consultation is around 20 Minutes and costs £25.
            (or AUD $46, USD $33, EUR €28)

            Each Hypnotherapy session is approximately an hour long and costs £75.
            (or AUD $137, USD $98, EUR €85)

             

            Get in Touch

            Please get in touch if you have any questions or want to book an initial consultation.

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